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Family, Do we need them?

I received email note from my big sis
excited to see her name I opened quickly
my excitement soon turned to 'what's this'?
a terse note "please take me off your undisclosed list"

not a thank you, I enjoy hearing from you
or, do not send photos cause they take to long to come through
"I am on dial up and I am not computer literate
I have no end of problems that I don't know how to fix it.

they are causing problems, goes off line before they show"
..The last time I saw or talked to her was 9 years ago
nothing about what has been happening in her neck of the woods
put a real damper on my first correspondence since childhood

I was just keeping my family updated
I did think she would hate this
she does not write so I do not know how she is
just a terse note to take her off my list!

So, What do I make of this email?
that she does not have any time for me
I hear from one sibling out of three
It was Mum who was the glue of our family

I thought blood was thinker than water
I am almost young enough to be her daughter
yet she has not been much of mentor
we never shared anything like sisters

I had always hoped that we would grow closer
as I got older we would find something in common
we both love and being around our horses
any conversation I started all too soon ceased

It is not as if I have not tried
or let it get to me, for long after I cried
in lines of communication open she is opposed
but alas I have to take her off, I suppose

I guess some siblings will never be friends
even the same blood flowing through our veins
does not make one a close family ally
so what is she to me now, just a blood relly?

Yes I am hurting and I am mad as hell
but I am resilient so I will put up my shell
give it to the Lord so He can take this pain
and tomorrow I will be all smiles again

Amanda Martin-Shaver
13 May 2009

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Amanda Martin-Shaver