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Shattered InnocenceWhy is it you kept me so young and innocentWhy did you not warn me of the pitfalls of life? I believed that no one would ever hurt me Because you kept the stars in my eyes You should have had more faith in me If we had only sat down and talked You left me open and vulnerable Because I did not see there are bad men out in the world My first encounter of dispicable men was a teacher I had at Primary School, I was younger than ten I was late leaving class on this particular day He who took the notion he could look through my garments asking me to name them on by one I was timid and scared he was in authority I felt it was wrong but did not know what to do I was taught not to argue with my elders and betters I learned that they will prey on innocent girls and boys The papers and TV these days are just full of it Nobody spoke of these violations against children back then It was shrouded behind closed doors and never spoken The lust in the mens eyes, I did not understand Even when my spirit tried to warn me. I doubted my feelings, how could this be? These men are known to the family! These lustful men don't care about friendship when their lust rears it's ugly head I did not get raped in body, but was raped in mind instead They undress you with their eyes and make lured suggestions It is rape no matter how you look at it a violation was commited against my person They make you feel dirty and that it was my fault I know now it was not something I said or did It is their problem not mine I was in the wrong place at the wrong time Even as an adult, I would get propositioned by married men I was married at that time too, and it did not seem to matter to them That their wife and my husband could be right nearby If questioned look at me and say all innocent, I didn't mean any such thing! I hate the actions of these so and so's They should all be behind bars The devastation, hurt, have left such deep scars You cannot see them because they are on the inside and are not viewed to all But are there for a long time, as it is hard to heal A broken bone takes about six weeks to mend Abuse never goes away on it's own it festers up again and again, when someone picks the scab These men think they can get away with it! well let me tell you, you can't, one day if you do not confess you will have to pay for your actions, whether it's this life or the next You will have to stand before God and be accountable. I will let God deal with you unscrupulous men I have moved on and given it away where it belongs at the foot of the cross, to my saviour Jesus in His loving embrace the hurt has now gone Amanda Martin-Shaver © 
Amanda Martin-Shaver © |